Oceanside Read online

  Leaving the lot, I turned right and took the sidewalk uphill through the palm tree lined center of downtown. Beneath the shelter of colorful shop awnings, I matched my strides to the wet sandy footprints someone had left behind. I wondered if I should risk making a quick run by the surf shop to see if the two best friends who managed it, Simone Bianchi, Lincoln Savage’s fiancée, and Karen Grayson, the surfer girl who belonged to Ramon Martinez, had left anything for me.

  You shouldn’t, my inner voice cautioned. It’s too risky. What if he’s there today?

  He was Ashland Keys. A today that had never come. Retired from the Dirt Dogs. Now a musical mogul, the co-owner of Outside, an independent record label he had formed with his cousin Lincoln Savage. The offices for Outside and the penthouse apartment Ashland lived in were housed in a four-story building that was uncomfortably close to the sub-pump structure where my sister and I were hiding.

  Familiar regret lanced through the center of my chest whenever I thought of Ashland Keys.

  C’mon, Fanny, I chastised myself. Forget about him already. That was a long time ago. He had forgotten all about me I was sure. Why he had asked me to meet him at the coffee house in the first place and then never shown up, I would probably never know, and it shouldn’t really matter. I had a life now far removed from the music business. I had a boyfriend, too, a serious one, or at least I hoped I still did. Who knew what was going on inside Tristan Murphy’s head or how the story was playing out for him and everyone else in the media? Everything traceable Hollie and I had we had left behind. Our cell phones. Credit cards. Vehicles. Our ID’s. My mom’s Claddagh ring. Everything had been abandoned in a rush to my sister’s rescue after her fateful late-night phone call.

  Passing by the front of the Ocean Beach Hotel with its trio of Mediterranean style arched windows, I nodded once to Charlie. He nodded back, scratched his long grey beard and continued shuffling along the walkway in his bedroom slippers on his way to his favorite spot near the sand. Head ducked low, I avoided making eye contact with the rest of the people I encountered especially the guys at the lifeguard station. They didn’t tolerate the homeless congregating around the nearby public restroom. In singles we were ok. Invisible even. But in groups we gave the city a headache it didn’t relish with a potential to spook the paying tourists.

  When I reached the Deck Bar, I stopped and scanned my surroundings again. No one was around the popular second story restaurant that overlooked the water. It wasn’t open yet, but the trashcan beside it was full to overflowing from the previous night. After one more furtive glance around, I unzipped my hoodie, threw it on the ground as a catchall and started combing through the contents of the receptacle. Glass bottles were a low score worth only ten cents each. They clinked together as I dropped them on my jacket. Plastic bottles netted a dollar each. Aluminum cans were the best. I could get a dollar fifty-seven for them. Discarded food inside sacks or takeaway containers I had avoided in the beginning. I didn’t anymore. Desperation made me less picky about what I put inside my stomach.

  It was near midday and the rays from the rising sun were hot on the exposed skin of my neck and shoulders by the time I had sorted through everything.

  I stuffed fries and a quarter of a burger wrapped in crinkly paper inside my pocket to eat on the way back. I didn’t trust such fare for Hollie. In her present condition, it might make her sicker. I put everything I didn’t want back inside the can. Someone else might come along and find the ten cent glass bottles or the leftover moldy bread worthy of their attention.

  Feeling exposed in just my tank and skirt, I gathered the sides of my hoodie and hefted it like a knapsack over my shoulder. I glanced at the sun and sighed. I was running later than usual. A wealth of broken bottles in the trash had slowed me down. Wanting to make up time, I broke into a jog, slowing only to take a bite of my food. My purple Chloés served me well, but my unwieldy bounty bounced awkwardly against my shoulder blades as I increased my pace.

  When I finally arrived at the church, the line had wound around the entire complex. I bypassed it. Those on the sidewalk were waiting for a free lunch and entering their names into a lottery for a cot tonight. I already had a place to sleep, and I had eaten. The char-boiled hamburger and greasy fries now sat heavy in my stomach, but it was sustenance. As long as it stayed down, not a given unfortunately, it would do.

  Behind the sanctuary, the side door to the warehouse was propped open with a cinderblock brick. I ducked inside and scanned long rows of bins for recycling. There were only two people inside the small office by the entrance and both had their backs to me, a blonde and the usual security guard. I could clearly see them through the glass half-wall. They gave cash on the spot for recyclables here. The guard was a necessary precaution. Most of the street people were harmless like myself. We had our own ethical code and looked out for each other as best we could. But there were other factions around—dangerous ones—at the ready to take advantage or do us harm.

  I knocked on the glass and dropped my gaze to the ground. Outside or inside, I tried to avoid eye contact or conversation. A pair of flip flops with sandy feet and pink toes appeared in my field of vision.

  “It’s you,” a recognizable voice stated.

  I jerked my head up.

  Karen Grayson. The owner of Offshore. Ramon’s surfer girl. I had once pushed her out of the way of a moving car that had almost hit her. She had only been knocked unconscious. It could have been much worse. Everything was ok now, but at the time Ramon had completely lost it.

  I started to back away toward the door, but found my retreat blocked by the security guard. My eyes went wide. Panicking, I jumped away from him and dropped my knapsack/hoodie. Plastic bottles clattered and aluminum cans pinged on the concrete. I barely noticed over the sound of my racing heartbeats.

  “It’s ok, Lakers Girl,” Karen said gently. That was what she and her OB friends called me. “I’m not going to hurt you. We’re not gonna hurt you. Are we Jackson?”

  The security guard shook his head.

  “Then have him move away from the door,” I demanded softly, my voice warbling in my near panic. Swallowing, I shook my head and spoke more firmly. “I don’t like being cornered.”

  “Sure. It’s ok.” Karen lifted her hands spreading her fingers wide in a placating gesture. “Jackson, I know this woman. She’s the one I was telling you about. The one I’ve been looking for. Can you give us two girls a moment alone?” She was talking to him, but she didn’t take her gaze off of me.

  “Sure Miss Grayson.”

  “Thanks.”

  Wary, I watched him retreat. When he was outside she spoke again.

  “I’m Karen Grayson, but I think you already know my name.” She took a step closer, both hands clasped in front of her now. “I’m not going to hurt you. I just wanted to thank you. Your quick thinking saved my life.”

  “You’re welcome,” I whispered. She was pretty. Blonde hair, light brown eyes, golden skin, toned body. A SoCal surfer girl through and through, she didn’t have a bit of trouble blending in Ocean Beach. Ramon’s nickname suited her. But more importantly to me, she had a gentle manner. I had seen her at the beach teaching kids how to surf. I’d seen her walking hand in hand with Ramon downtown. I had accidently seen them doing more much more than hand holding down by the pier. They were hot together. But thinking about that didn’t conjure up longing thoughts of one of Tristan’s kisses like it probably should have.

  “What’s your name?” Karen asked.

  I shook my head.

  “You don’t wanna tell me, huh?”

  I nodded.

  “You in trouble of some sort?”

  I nodded.

  “With the law?”

  “No.” I shook my head. I didn’t think so, but who knew what my stepfather was telling people to try to get Hollie back.

  “No surprise there. You seem way too industrious and smart to be a criminal.” She scanned me head to toe, thoroughly as if taking notes. />
  “Your face is dirty. But the rest of you is clean.” She was observant, and I kicked myself for stopping to wash up in the public restroom last night at Dog Beach. But I couldn’t sleep when I was grimy. “If you could keep your appearance presentable and come into the shop reliably each day I could really use some help organizing.”

  My eyes got large. She was offering me a job.

  “I’d like a chance to pay you back at least in some way for what you did. When I think of what might have happened…what I could have lost….” She trailed off, bringing one of her hands up and placing it on her lower abdomen. Protectively. Like my mom had all those years ago.

  Was Karen pregnant?

  “Well, anyway,” she confirmed when I didn’t speak. “It seems to me you could use a little help, and I could, too, honestly. Simone is gone so often with her singing. I couldn’t pay you a lot. I’m still trying to make Offshore profitable again. But I think I could pay you more than you make turning in cans, and I would provide meals, too.”

  “Why would you do that? You don’t even know me. I could be dangerous.”

  Her lips slowly lifted into a sweet smile. “I don’t think a dangerous person would warn me that she’s dangerous or bother pushing me out of the way of a moving car. Do you?”

  I shook my head and grinned back at her. She was kind and funny, her humor contagious.

  “So what do you say?”

  “I can’t.” Without the dirt on my face, someone might recognize me. I wasn’t the celebrity Hollie had become with her acting. Most people had forgotten me. My success had been short-lived, my fame a flash that had come and gone. The way I had wanted it to of course. I glanced at my feet where the cans and plastic bottles had scattered. “Can I turn these in? I need the money, and then I need to get going.”

  “Alright, Lakers Girl.” Karen looked and sounded disappointed. I was, too. I liked her. A lot. She and Simone had been leaving gifts for me, clothing and food inside a box behind their shop. Neither looked through me pretending I didn’t exist like a lot of people did. They didn’t seem to think less of me because I was dirty and combed through the trash for cans and food. “But I want you to know that the offer stands. If you change your mind all you have to do is come by the shop.”

  “I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “I appreciate the offer. But I can’t accept it. I can’t explain why. If you need someone to help don’t wait on me. You should hire someone else.”

  “Alright.” She sighed. “Let me get Jackson back in here. He’s got the code for the cash drawer. We’ll get you your money so you can be on your way.”

  Moments later, I left the recycling center with a wad of bills and coins jingling in my pocket. Yet, my heart ached. It hadn’t been easy to refuse Karen, and to leave her friendly face behind. I felt so lonely. Overwhelmed. Frightened. Karen would be the first person I would turn to if Hollie didn’t get better.

  Toughen up, Fanny girl, I admonished myself. And get going. I was even more behind schedule now. It would be busy at the gym where I used one of the rental lockers to store my guitar. The beat-up pawn shop find had cost me only thirty-five bucks. But that had been everything Hollie and I had scraped together after my purse with most of our cash had been stolen. You had to have money to make money. The acoustic wasn’t pretty like the Martin I had left behind. It had a cracked headstock which was why I’d gotten it so cheap, but it played well enough.

  And isn’t that a lot like me and my life right now? I mused philosophically. Yet, Karen had noticed there was more to me than met the eye. And didn’t her ability to see beyond the grime and the tattered clothes say a lot about her and who she was as a person?

  Lost in my reverie, I almost didn’t see the two men coming out of the gym. Two handsome blue-eyed blonds, one with platinum hair the other golden. Ashland and Lincoln. Holy shit. I quickly dashed into the thick underbrush beside the building.

  “Leg seems better. You don’t favor it at all anymore.”

  “Yeah, brilliant suggestion about the rowing machine. It’s been a good exercise for it. You wanna hit the beach and do some surfing with Mona and me later?” Linc asked his cousin, cracking open a water bottle and tipping it back for a long swig. I scooted further into the dense foliage not wanting to leave but not wanting to be spotted, either.

  “Nah, I appreciate the invite, but I’ve got stuff to do,” Ashland replied, opening a water bottle of his own with his long slender fingers. My eyes burned as I stared at him. Mesmerized, I was unable to look away. He was just as striking as ever. He wore a navy OB ball cap on backwards, his platinum hair skimming his broad shoulders. A black workout tank and grey cutoff sweats revealed his sculpted arms and muscled thighs. With his sleek skin, golden tanned strong body and ruggedly handsome face, he could have easily been a model for the gym.

  “Oh yeah, like what? We do own the record label. We can set our own hours.”

  “Yeah I know, if I were content to rest on our laurels and not grow, that plan would be fine. But I promised Ramon I’d listen to the new mix on his album.” And that voice. Deep. Smooth. Devastatingly sexy. My stomach fluttered.

  Stop it, Fanny. He might not have changed, but you have. You are not the same infatuated fangirl you were back then.

  “I can’t believe you talked him into recording again. He was so adamant about being done with music.”

  “Our guitarist protests too much. I read between the lines. It’s the traveling he’s done with.”

  “Being away from OB and Karen you mean.”

  “Yeah, no doubt.”

  “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “You know what I mean. Always holed up in that palatial penthouse with way too much space. You found anyone to share it with you?”

  “I don’t know about palatial. It’s only got two bedrooms, Linc.”

  “It takes up the whole top floor of the building, Ash. Two if you count that cool rooftop. And no computer and not a single TV in that huge place. That’s just plain weird. Seems to me you enjoy disengaging from the outside world just a little too much. But you’re avoiding the real issue. What about you and Renee?”

  “Nothing to tell, cousin. We have an arrangement that works for both of us. It’s never been anything more.”

  “It could be if you wanted it to.”

  “Give it a rest, Linc. You’ve got the best girl in OB locked down, and Ramon’s got one who’s a near tie for that title. And anyway, I’m not looking. My heart belongs to you and Simone. My life’s full. I don’t need anyone else in it.”

  Lincoln said something more, but I couldn’t hear it. They had moved too far away. My curiosity overriding my caution, I took a step forward. A crack. A loud one. I had stepped on a fallen tree branch and broken it in two. My eyes went wide as both men snapped their heads in my direction. Ashland stared right where I was cowering as if I had an inner homing beacon that he was attuned to.

  Chapter Three

  Ashland

  “Hey!” I exclaimed. It was her. The Lakers Girl. “Wait!” I shouted, but predictably she was already on the move, running in the opposite direction. I dove into the underbrush right where she had been standing only a moment before. The foliage was thick. Branches that she ducked gracefully beneath slammed into my chest as I pursued her. I reached out to grab her as she slowed to skirt along the edge of the building, but I got nothing but a handful of air. She dropped to her rear to skid down an embankment. Staying on my feet, I barreled after her scraping my palms on the loose gravel. Reaching the bottom before I did, she picked up her skirts and ran full out. And the girl could sprint. However, I had an advantage. My legs were longer. Plus at midday the streets were crowded with people. Trying to avoid a collision with a mother and a baby carriage, she tripped and went sprawling, face first, palms out in front of herself to break her fall.

  “Ash, stop.” Linc grabbed my arm. Gripping it firmly, he yanked me back. I didn’t even realize he had been right behind me. �
�What the hell? She’s just a girl. You’re scaring her. Look.”

  “I am looking.” My adrenaline was humming. I was in chase mode. I needed to catch her. I felt like she held the answer to some important inner question, and then I wanted to…well, I wasn’t sure exactly. Speak with her, I guess, hear her voice, remove that cap and wipe the grime off her face to see what the hell she really looked like underneath it all so maybe I could let go of this nagging curiosity about her.

  “I need to get to her.” She was less than a dozen feet away. I’d never gotten this close to her, never had her hold my gaze like she was doing right now. Her silver eyes glowed like a magical mirror primed to reveal her secrets. I had to know what they were. I had to get closer. I tugged my arm free.

  “Why, Ash?” Linc asked, knowing he only held me from her because I allowed it. “I mean, what the hell?”

  I ripped my gaze from her to give him an incredulous look. “To thank her for saving Karen’s life.” He knew that. I’d been trying to catch her for weeks. I shouldn’t have to explain myself.

  “Really?” He frowned. “You have to chase some homeless girl through the woods and scare the shit out of her to thank her?”

  Well, hell. Now that he had put it like that I felt like a complete ass and paused to contemplate my motives. She didn’t wait for me to finish my introspection. Nimbly she flipped over. Leaves dislodging from her knit cap fell to the ground as she regained her feet. My own stumbled toward her as if our movements were connected.

  “Wait…” The plea clogged in my throat when I saw the bloody handprint on the concrete. Her bloody handprint. Guilt slowed my steps to a halt. I forced myself to stand still. Hands clenched at my sides, my eyes burned as I watched her escape. Her skirts kicked up high above her purple triple buckled high-tops. Darting in, out and around the people clogging up the sidewalk, I could practically feel her panic, and the further away she got away from me the more my uneasiness rose.

  “What’s really going on with you?”